I had always enjoyed reading about midwives and was sure that if I ever had children I would seek the assistance of one. Soon after my husband and I were married and began discussing the idea of starting a family, I looked around and found Judith Hagan, a Certified Nurse Midwife, right here in Rockaway who performs homebirths. When I learned that I was pregnant in October 2003, I quickly made an appointment to meet with her. We hit it off right away and I knew that this was the care provider that I wanted the support of throughout my pregnancy.
In the final weeks of my pregnancy in June 2004, I took off time from work and my mother came to stay with me in order to prepare for the homebirth. On Monday June 28, I woke up with the dawn and climbed up on the rock in the backyard to watch the sunrise. Nature woke up with me and it was a very intimate awakening for both me and my baby. As I went back into the house I glanced outside and saw a red cardinal perched out front as if it was alerting me to baby's arrival. My mother and I got the birthing room ready and around 2pm that afternoon I started having contractions 10 minutes apart. By 4pm they spread to 20 minutes apart and by 5pm they stopped. Once we realized that this was a false alarm, my mother and I went for a walk and noticed that the same cardinal followed me all the way up the road as if to assure me that this birth was just around the corner!
The next morning I knew that the birth was imminent so had a list of things that I wanted to accomplish. My mom and I set out for a busy morning and on our way home we spontaneously decided to stop at a strawberry patch. The stooping and squatting in the fields certainly got things going and contractions started at 2:53pm with the first sign of a bloody show soon after. They were 8 to 15 minutes apart until 4pm and then jumped from 2 to 8 minute intervals until 9pm. I took a bath at 5pm and when I got out at 5:45 I raced our 3 dogs up to the kennel which closed at 6pm. The kennel attendants were very eager to get the dogs out of the car and send me on my way so I wouldn't have the baby there!
The evening progressed and at 9pm I took another bath. My husband, Justin, came home from his class and my sister, Jenni, and 10 yr old nephew, Ben, arrived from Pennsylvania. According to Judy I needed to try and get some rest so we lit candles in the bedroom while the birthing tub filled and gently danced to classical music and hymns. Once relaxed, I was able to doze off between contractions. At 1am I called Judy and Sabine (doula/midwife's assistant) and took another bath. Jenni helped me through the contractions by just being with me but the only thing that seemed to really help me get through the pain of back labor was focusing on the flame of a candle and concentrating on long breaths in and long breaths out. Sabine showed up at 2am and took over for Jenni. Sabine then suggested that I get out and walk around to try to progress the labor. We tried different things like using a robozo for support and rolling or sitting on the birthing ball but what felt best was finally just sitting on the couch with my feet up. Again, focusing on lights and long breaths through the contractions helped and as the sun began to come up at 5am we went outside to walk around. With the sun came renewed energy and I was grateful for having made it through the night.
At 6am I got in the birthing tub and Sabine called Judy to learn that she was on her way. Although it was pretty silly looking and made me sound like a whale in labor, using a snorkel in the tub so that I could immerse my whole body and moaning through contractions really helped. Labor was definitely progressing and I was getting urges to push. When Judy arrived she checked me and I was 5 cm then quickly dilated to 7 cm when I relaxed and 90% effaced. She suggested that I continue to walk around and get something to eat for energy. I went downstairs and started circling the dining room table while stopping at the kitchen counter for a bite of breakfast each time I made it around. When Benjamin woke up I asked him if the noises I made scared him in the night and his response was adorable: "When you were walking around the table moaning with your hair all over the place it was kinda creepy so I just lay still and straight with my hands together and said 'think happy thoughts...think happy thoughts'."
The labor definitely was getting harder and more painful. My intuitive Ben could tell and came up to me to say "Just remember, you're giving the gift of life which is the greatest gift of all!". What a relief that was and it actually brought on a new surge of energy! I stopped focusing on the pain and thought to myself- that's right...I'm not putting myself through this for me or for Justin or for any other reason except for the little baby inside me and that's all. Wow! At that point I was able to start focusing on getting this baby out and things really started happening.
I walked outside again because I wanted to be in the sun. But as I started walking up the hill I lost my mucous plug! So we went back upstairs and Judy checked me again. She knew it was a long hard labor and could tell that I was getting tired. Judy and Sabine gave me a 'Preggie Pop' lollipop, but with each suck I would have a contraction. Ouch! It was a catch-22, I wanted this to be over but I knew the pain would get worse before it got better.
Judy suggested that we try to move the labor along because she knew I was tired. She checked me again and saw that I was 100% effaced and 8cm so she tried to break the water but decided not to because the membrane was too close to the baby's head. She gave me some cohosh and herbal remedies to help me progress and then left me alone with Justin so that we could use nipple stimulation to get the contractions closer together. This definitely did the trick and contractions started coming one right after the other. I heard a 'POP' and then a gush of water came out at 10:30 am. I got back in the birthing tub and the pushing started coming on more regularly. Judy could tell that I was really tired so she tried to get me to breath through the contractions and relax/rest rather than push but the urge was fairly uncontrollable.
After about an hour of pushing Judy called another midwife, Martha, to come over to assist her. Judy suggested that I try and see if I could feel the baby...I felt a small hard surface with a squishy ball on top. She said that was the head with all of the skin pushed together on top! Wow- Iıll never forget that feeling.
All I remember at this point (probably around 2pm) was people kept feeding me tea with honey, drinks and herbal remedies. I got out of the tub and kept trying different positions but NOTHING was relieving the horrible back labor (i.e. squatting, hanging, leaning over, all fours, etc). The back pains actually hurt more than the pushing and my energy was very very low. Judy really encouraged me to try and rest so I lay down on the bed. She must have checked the babyıs heart rate 100 times that afternoon. Every time I lay on my back, the heart rate would drop so she would tell me to turn on my side and try some pushes from the sides. I remember that this basically became a routine. Finally, Judy helped me focus on where to push, Jenni fed me spoonfuls of honey, they ramped up the herbal remedies for energy and I was able to make some progress.
At this point Martha and Judy came up with a great idea. They told me that everyone was going to help me get this baby out and to just try to rest through the contractions while they got in position. Jenni sat behind me while I propped myself up on her. Justin held my right leg and Sabine held my left. Martha had me cross my arms and held my hands while Judy massaged my perineum to help ease the baby out. When the next strong contraction came on, everyone went to work bending me and pulling me and encouraging me to push. It helped because I finally had some relief from the back pain! While we all repositioned ourselves and waited for the next one, the baby decided to take a break. A couple of times I said 'OK, here it comes'...everyone would get all tensed up and in position...and then nothing...It felt like 15 minutes passed before the next contraction came on and we all got a laugh out of the baby deciding to be shy after 24 hours of labor. When the final contraction came I gave it everything I had and with the encouragement of Judy I pushed out his head. My mother was standing behind the midwives watching so I could see her face and she was so excited which really encouraged me. The team quickly turned me over onto all fours and the baby slid out the rest of the way. I heard my mom say "Itıs a boy!" and I couldn't have been happier. Judy laid the baby on my belly and told me to just talk to him. We were all in tears. Judy eased the placenta out and then gave me a couple of stitches for a minor tear. She explained that the baby's arm was up over his head and the umbilical cord was wrapped around him a few times preventing the arm from coming down. This was also the reason for the long labor because every time I would move him down a little bit he would slide back in.
I held my baby and noticed his beautiful individuality. Justin cut the cord and snuggled with us both. The baby was crying for a while so Judy gave him an herbal remedy to soothe him. After showering and changing I fell quickly asleep with babe in arms.
The homebirth experience was amazing. Due to the long labor, over 4 hours of pushing and the arm up over the head, Judy was pretty sure that I would have been induced in the hospital and either had a C-section or a vacuum/forceps delivery. I am SO glad that I didn't get forced or pressured to endure any of those procedures. I had my family all around me. I was in my own bed in my own house. I was able to eat and drink foods that I liked...walk around my back yard and be with nature...let the sun shine on my face...labor in a birthing tub in my bedroom...bathe in my own tub...listen to my own music...light candles all over the house...soothe myself with essential oils and aromatherapy...and best of all, I was able to bring my darling little boy into the world naturally in his own home surrounded by the love of his own family...just the way nature intended.
Even though the labor seemed especially difficult, I never had a sense of fear or lack of confidence in myself or the birth team because I knew that Judy was in charge. After getting to know her so well over the previous 9 months, I gained complete trust in her knowledge, experience and judgment. I couldnıt have asked for a better care provider. And to sum it all up, when I spoke with Judy a few days later she told me that she was just really really happy because it was a difficult birth but mother and child both came through really well. And what was especially satisfying to her was to know that she helped to prevent a first time mother from going through all of the interference and intrusive medical procedures that would have been imposed on me if I had endured a hospital birth. What a gem she is!
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